Since there were thousands of decks, such journeys could take a very long time, and so there was in-flight (or in-lift) entertainment similar to an airplane flight, awful elevator music, terrible food (according to the Cat), Lister felt claustrophobic, and an automated hostess who advised the occupants to commit suicide should anything go wrong (even demonstrating how to do so). The Xpress lifts came with a Black Box for recording a last will and testament, and cyanide pills drop down instead of oxygen masks.
The Dwarfers once used the Xpress Lifts to go 2,567 floors from the Z Shift sleeping quarters down to Floor 16 in their search for a stasis leak. Lister found the experience so distressing that he vowed to never use the Xpress Lifts again. ("Stasis Leak", Series II)
- Lister: "I hate this stuff. It really freaks me out!"
- Lift Hostess: "Thank you for travelling Xpress Lifts. Sorry for the delay."
Cat: "Apologize for the chicken! First meal I've ever had where the container tasted better than the food!"
- For the Red Dwarf Remastered version of Stasis Leak, extra shakiness was added to the elevators.
- Lister's claustrophobia is hinted at in the Xpress lift. This was also hinted at earlier, when he was in a space suit outside the ship with a crazed Confidence in the Series I episode "Confidence and Paranoia". Lister's claustrophobia would become a major plot point in the much later Series VII episode "Duct Soup".