Dave Lister gets a letter from Hayley Summers, his old ex-girlfriend and one of the few women he went out with who never dumped him. Lister can not bring himself to read it, but Rimmer glances over it and learns that she is writing to confess that she is pregnant. She is not sure whether or not it is Lister's or Roy's child however, with the latter being her co-employee at the bank she used to work at. Lister is shocked, both at the prospect of being a father and at the revelation that she had been with another man, particularly with Roy, best known for his obsession with the bank's finger wetting machine. The only way to know the who was the child's real father is to continue digging through the mail, with Lister hoping to find another letter containing the results of the DNA test. The result reveal that Roy is the father with Lister calling Hayley as "slag" out of annoyance.
Behind the scenes
Hayley and Roy may have been named for Hayley and Roy Cropper, characters from Coronation Street. In that show, Hayley was a transsexual in the same way that Rimmer believed Lister's ex-girlfriend to be a a man.