Queeg is the fifth episode in Series II of Red Dwarf, and eleventh episode overall.


A maniacal backup computer replaces Holly and takes over Red Dwarf.



"Oh, that's what it was, I remember now. A meteor is about to hit the ship..."
- Holly

Holly (Norman Lovett) addresses the crew in the sleeping quarters, but forgets what he was going to say. Rimmer continues playing checkers with a skutter, whom Rimmer is technically losing to but biding his time until the shutter has to go back on duty. In an instant, a dull red light shines through the porthole window, the lighting goes down, and the whole ship shakes under a tremendous impact. The sleeping quarters are thrown into disarray, and the gang are thrown from their from the bunks to the floor. Holly now remembers what he had meant to say - to warn the crew to brace themselves since the ship was about to be hit by a meteor.

Rimmer's (Chris Barrie) legs start going walk abouts on their own and Holly asks Lister (Craig Charles) to go down to the Hologram Simulation Suite on Floor 592, where the meteor hit, to repair the damage. Rimmer's hologram continues to glitch and he begins impersonating the dead members of the crew, such as Brannigan, the ship's psychologist. However following Holly's advice Lister connects the wrong cables and causes an explosion which makes him fly over the consoles, and almost kills him.

Holly's increasing mistakes start to irritate the crew; after all he's supposed to have an IQ of 6,000. After complaining about Holly's stewardship, a mysterious face appears on the monitor screen where Holly's face is usually seen. Rimmer thinks it's aliens, but he introduces himself as Queeg 500, the Red Dwarf back-up computer. According to Queeg he is to replace Holly for gross negligence leading to the endangerment of personnel, as per Space Corps Directives, and assumes control of the ship. Holly is removed from the mainframe, and instead placed into a mobile monitor on tracks and demoted to nightwatchman duties.

The crew, initially pleased at the efficiency of their new ship's computer, soon grows dissatisfied, as Queeg requires them to work hard and follow the Company's regulations to the letter, which requires Rimmer to do exercises whether he's conscious or not, as well as revise and be tested as the company is paying for his hologramatic survival. Lister and Cat are refused food from the Vending Machines unless they work all day, and even then they only get a slice of dry toast and a pea each day.

Holly, prevailed upon by the crew to return, challenges Queeg to a game to determine which of them will run Red Dwarf and which one will be erased. Queeg chooses chess, despite Holly's numerous alternative games. Queeg wins easily, and declares that Holly is to be wiped completely from the ship's systems. Holly says his goodbyes to Lister, Rimmer, The Cat and slowly disappears from the screen, poignantly going out on a song.

However moments later, Holly returns, and explains, to the crew's extreme surprise and exasperation, that Queeg never existed - Holly was Queeg all the time and it was all merely an elaborate prank, and to make the point that they should appreciate what they have and not take him for granted, because, as Holly puts it, "I'm fantastic".

Deleted scenes

As available for viewing on the Series II DVD:

  • An extended sequence of a malfunctioning Rimmer impersonating many more of the dead Red Dwarf crew outside the Hologram Simulation Suite. Whilst Rimmer begs for help his voice and actions imitate Holly (saying that he is mad); Captain Hollister (asking Lister for his cat); a deep-voiced Scottish man; a Brummie (Birmingham accent); a begging and praying animated Italian man; and a woman with a high-pitched London accent.
  • The full length '6am wake-up call' discussion between Rimmer and Queeg was cut for time.


  • This is the last episode of Red Dwarf to feature the original opening titles.
  • This is the first episode in which Chris Barrie, a skilled impressionist, is given a chance to impersonate other members of the cast. His impersonation of Craig Charles is particularly accurate. He later put these skills to use when he recorded audio book versions of some of the Red Dwarf novels.
  • Lister mentions seeing "Inflatable Ingrid" behind Rimmer's back. This is the first reference to Rimmer's sex doll, a recurring gag throughout the television series (although later episodes would refer to it as 'Rachael').
  • According to Queeg, it has been 18 months since Red Dwarf turned around and set a course for Earth, and in fact during this time the inept Holly has been taking the ship around in circles.

Noteworthy Dialogue

  • Holly: Our biggest enemy is going space crazy through loneliness. The only thing that helps me maintain my slender grip on reality is the friendship I share with my collection of singing potatoes.
  • Rimmer: You are a total, total...a word has yet to be invented to describe how totally...whatever it is you are, but you are one, and a total, total one at that!
    Holly: Alright, keep your hair on.
    Rimmer: I'm lucky if I can keep my legs on with you in charge.
  • Lister: Is there any damage?
    Holly: I dunno the damage report machine has been damaged.
  • Holly: Yeah, right on!
  • Queeg: Is THAT what he told you? It has a six in it, but it's NOT six thousand.
    Lister: Well what is it then?
    Queeg: Six.
    Holly: Do me a lemon, that's a poor IQ for a glass of water.
  • Holly: We are talking Jape of the Decade! We are talking April, May, June, July, AND August fool! That's right: I am Queeg.
  • Holly: And the moral of the story is appreciate what you've got, because basically, I'm fantastic.

Background Information

  • Craig Charles performed his own stunts in this episode where Lister is thrown from his bunk as the ship is hit by a meteor, and then when he flies over the console in the explosion.
  • This is the final episode to feature the opening sequence of Lister painting the hull accompanied by a sombre rendition of the theme tune, and the last one to feature Holly's opening monologue explaining the premise and making a joke afterwards, due to "Parallel Universe", the episode that follows, replacing the opening credit sequence with a musical number.

Remastered Differences

  • When Rimmer is first woken up at 6:00, his line "Off!" is different compared to the original version of the scene.


  • The explosion which nearly kills Lister in the Hologram Simulation Suite is presumably the same explosion Rimmer previously saw a future echo of in "Future Echoes", although that vision took place in the Drive Room it appears identical and hasn't occurred again (yet).
  • Holly's computer senility will later come to a head in the Series IV episode, "White Hole" (where she can't count without banging her head on the screen).
  • In Back to Earth, there appears to be a similar clause regarding holograms that requires a replacement if the current one has committed acts of gross negligence leading to endangerment of personnel.

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