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"Oh God, aliens... Your explanation for anything slightly peculiar is aliens, isn't it? You lose your keys - it's aliens. A picture falls off the wall - it's aliens. That time we used up a whole bog roll in a day, you thought that was aliens as well!"
- Lister to Rimmer (Kryten)


Quagaars are supposedly an alien race that Arnold Rimmer hypothesised, but they were never encountered by the boys from the Dwarf, or actually even existed. Given that Red Dwarf has a strict "no aliens" rule, the "Quagaars" were merely the result of Rimmer's obsession with extraterrestrial life.

Dave Lister once told Rimmer that it was just them and "a load of smegging space rocks" and no aliens, which he hypothesised to be called "Zargons" in response to Rimmer's Quagaars. Rimmer dismissed this, saying that it would be too much of an existential dilemma if aliens didn't exist, and they were truely alone. (Waiting for God)

MentionsEdit

Quagaars

Does the pod contain Rimmer's Quagaars?
Or is it a garbage pod?
("Waiting for God", Series I)

When Red Dwarf found a pod floating in Deep Space, Rimmer was very excited. He was convinced that it was a piece of alien technology that could lead him to their civilisation, who may be able to give the hologram his physical body back. Unable to decipher the writing on the pod, he arbitrarily decided that the aliens were called the Quagaars.

Rimmer did extensive studies of the markings and was desperate to see what was inside the pod, but insisted that a quarantine period be observed. When he finally allowed Lister to open the pod, he saw what he thought were the perfectly preserved remains of a Quagaar warrior, or a beautiful alien woman with six breasts. He soon realised that it was in fact a rotten roast chicken, and that Holly and Lister had hidden the fact that the pod was one of Red Dwarf's garbage pods. This was something, as he'd never done duty in that section of the ship, that Rimmer was utterly unaware of as a practice. (Waiting for God, Series I)

When Red Dwarf first picked up Kryten's distress message from the wreck of the Nova 5, Rimmer initially believed Kryten to be aliens. Lister said that not everything was to do with aliens, but Rimmer believed aliens had used up a whole toilet roll, since nobody else had. Rimmer also spends some time imagining alien bowel movements, saying that it probably comes out of the top of their heads. Lister said that he wouldn't like to behind one in the cinema. (Kryten, Series II)

The crew once woke up aboard Red Dwarf missing four days. Four days are also missing from Lister's diary, and his jigsaw puzzle is completed. Lister and the Cat, inexplicably, have broken legs. Rimmer suggests that aliens are the cause of these events, and that this is their way of communicating. Holly says doing a jigsaw and breaking legs if a funny way of communicating, and Cat says he wouldn't like to be around one while one of them is making a speech. (Thanks for the Memory)

When the unfamiliar face of Queeg 500 first appeared on the monitor of the Drive Room, replacing Holly's face, Rimmer bowed down before Queeg's image, believing him to an alien. (Queeg)

When Red Dwarf first encountered the DNA Ship, Rimmer was convinced that it was aliens trying to return Glenn Miller. (D.N.A., Series IV)

Rimmer believes Santa Claus to be an alien when they encounter him in the 2007 mobile episode Red Christmas.

NotesEdit

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