The Munchkin Song, otherwise known as the Arnold J. Rimmer Song or the Rimmer Munchkin Song was a song performed by munchkin-like virtual reality caricatures of Arnold J. Rimmer inside "The Rimmer Experience" program in the Red Dwarf episode "Blue".
A Rimmer caricature wearing Rimmer's blue/hard-light uniform sang the lead, with vocal backing provided by caricatures in Rimmer's red/soft-light uniform (along with green-uniformed caricatures in the extended version).
The song was performed and composed by Howard Goodall.
Lyrics
If you're in trouble he will save the day.
He's brave and he's fearless, come what may.
Without him the mission would go astray.
He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer.
Without him life would be much grimmer.
He's handsome, trim, and no-one slimmer.
He will never need a zimmer.
He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer.
More reliable than a garden strimmer.
He's never been mistaken for Yul Brynner.
He's not bald, and his head doesn't glimmer.
Master of the wit and the repartee.
His command of space directives is uncanny.
How come he's such a genius?
Don't ask me!
Ask Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer.
He's also a fantastic swimmer.
And if you play your cards right
Then he just might come round for dinner.
(In the extended version, the song continued on like this...)
He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer.
No rhymes left now apart from quimmer.
We hope they fade us out before we get to "schlimmer".
Fade out you stupid blimmer!
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