Tongue Tied

Cloister the Stupid

981pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share
Cloister the Stupid
Race God
Place of Origin Red Dwarf
Appearances Waiting for God
Alter Egos Dave Lister
Family Protector of the cat people
Actor Craig Charles

"No, it's me! Lister, Cloister, Cloister, Lister, see!" - Cloister/Lister (RD: Waiting For God)



Cloister (or Lister) frozen in time


Giving the Cat Commandments to the holy mother


Cloister on Fuchal
(RD: Waiting for God)

Cloister the Stupid is the cat race's god, as recorded in their holy book. The Cat describes how he was 'frozen in time' in order to save 'the holy mother' (Frankenstein, Lister's pet cat, from which the Felis Sapiens race evolved). He actually turns out to be Lister ("The Stupid?!" Lister exclaims), who was put in suspended animation rather than giving up Frankenstein. The cats believed that one day he would return and lead them to Fuchal, the cat version of paradise. (RD: The End) This was a corruption of Lister's desire to set up home on Fiji. He would open a temple of food (diner) and serve hot dogs and doughnuts.

The Cat People went to war over what colour hats would be worn in Fuchal. Some believed them to be red and others blue. Most of the Cat People were killed during the civil war, which astounded Lister, since he had intended the hats to be green.

Cloister apparently gave the Cat people Five Sacred Laws. Lister noted that he had broken four of them himself. He hadn't broken the fifth, but only because there were no sheep aboard Red Dwarf.

Lister's love of curries and other foods were incorporated into the Cat religion. Priests of the order wore sacred custard stains and gravy marks, and believed that Cloister would return wearing a golden doughnut and carrying a golden sausage.

Lister ultimately saw fit to fulfill this prophecy, taking some items from the statues of himself and barging in, in dramatic fashion, for the old dying Felis Sapien Cat Priest left in Supply Pipe 28. (RD: Waiting For God)


In Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers, the Cat god was named either Cloister or Clister, depending on which faction was involved. It was this difference of theology that caused them to go to war with each other.


  • Lister: "I am your god." Cat, pointing at his food: "Okay, turn that into a woman." RD: Waiting For God

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.