The Land of Camelot

The Camelot Game was an Artificial Reality scenario that Lister and Kryten played. ("Stoke Me a Clipper")


Little is known about the main plot or even the exact title of the game. The player would enter as a low ranking knight at the King's court and engage in jousts against the other knights. The jousts took place in a meadow of the Kingdom of Camelot, ruled by the King and Queen. A crowd of peasants and court followers were there to cheer on the contestants.

When Lister needed to have sex, he went into the game as "Lister of Smeg" with Kryten as his faithful manservant. He demanded a day and night with the Queen if he should defeat the Good Knight, the King's champion. The Knight was a great warrior, but Lister used a hidden cheat to reduce the size of his opponent's horse. This enabled him to win easily, decapitating the Good Knight. 

The King was incensed, but the Queen seemed quite happy to go into Lister's tent, much to Kryten's shame. The King tried to explain that Lister would not succeed, but Lister used another cheat to release the Queen's chastity belt. They then made the tent sway back and forth rapidly, until Lister emerged to get some whipped cream.

The program shut down shortly after, owing to Ace Rimmer's ship disrupting Starbug's systems. ("Stoke Me a Clipper")

Behind the scenes

The exact name of the program was never stated, with Kryten being the only one to mention the name "Camelot". This was probably an allusion to the mythical court of the same name.

All of the Camelot scenes had to be reshot after the first day's filming was ruined by torrential rain.