Bhindi Bhaji - Diplomatic envoy

"You bet, we hate them. Scum, scum, scum, scum, scum!"
―"Bhindi Baji" on humans[src]

"Bhindi Bhaji" was a character played by the Cat during an attempt to fool a Simulant ship into leaving Starbug alone.


When a rogue Simulant battle cruiser intercepted Starbug, the Captain ordered them to identify their species and purpose. Knowing that Simulants hunted humans and all humanoids, Lister devised a plan.

Taking Kryten's eyes from his head, Lister and the Cat placed one on each of their chins. Kryten then used a camera to transmit images of the Cat's chin upside down.

The Cat pretended to be Bhindi Bhaji, second in command to Ambassador Tarka Dal of the Vindaloovian Empire. He insisted that humans were scum and spat at the thought of them. The Captain saw through this and beamed aboard Starbug, causing the Cat to hand back Kryten's eye in embarrassment. (RD: Gunmen of the Apocalypse)